Lets get things rolling

Religion for me is a thoroughly interesting topic. Understanding its evolution and ability to capture the minds of so many is fascinating. Firstly, I need to clarify my angle.

The question of our own mortality and the subsequent meaning of life is confronting for many. If, for one moment we put the various Deity’s aside all we really know for sure is a complex sequence of events led to humans being here in their current form – and our physical bodies at the very least will return to dust after 80 short years or so.

In the absence of a spiritual framework to explain the “befores” and “afters” a little more clearly many people are not equipped to deal with the difficult reality that their individual lives may have very little meaning at all.

An Atheist would point to the ongoing wave of philosophical and scientific contributions that provide us with an ever growing mountain of evidence to explain many of the things that religions wrap up in their spiritual guidebooks as the work of an almighty entity.

But, to be fair, every time further evidence of evolution, or a “selfish gene” etc surfaces they raise further questions that need to be answered. So can science really prove there is no God? This is the beauty of science. It seems, for us 80-year mortals at least, a never ending quest for answers. A physicist might see the Unified Field Theory or the Theory of Everything as the Holy Grail, but how can your average person even begin to understand what this means and if it is in fact, one of the big answers we are looking for?

So, in the absence of concrete proof either way is there much difference in putting this collective reason for the unknown under the title of “God” or the “Yet to be answered questions”? For my part, on face value, there is very little difference.

The problem comes when people then use this complex question as the central tenement for a religion that sets boundaries to serve the interests of the religion or its leaders at the sacrifice of its followers.

I had a conversation about religion with a work colleague recently. Whilst I am not sure he has the answer in one hit - his take on the subject is paraphrased below;

“Religion is all about men controlling women. Think about early humans and the primal instincts they operated under. The male of the species has a desire to “sow his seed” and spends much of his life focused on that task. The female of the species also has a desire to mate, but may be more selective in the process as they spend more of their lives charged with raising offspring.

So early mankind, whether they evolved from primates or came into being in the Garden of Eden, still possessed these instincts. As we became more self aware we attached importance to bloodlines and parenthood. If the female was promiscuous, she still knows that the child she bears is her own. However, if the males as a group practiced even a small amount of promiscuity they can no longer be sure that the child their closest (or only) partner bears is his – how then can he be assured of siring a child?

Simple. Create a set of rules that guarantees control and faithfulness of the wife.”

Very interesting. If we look at the “Ten Commandments”, the moral foundation of all the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity and Islam), we can see the same logic applied. They cover off four main points – the first half is dedicated to God making sure everyone knows he is running the show, some words on general behavior to keep everyone in line (don’t murder, steal etc), the importance of family and at least two points talking to “stand by your man” (for the girls) and “keep your hands off my wife” (for the boys).

Sticking to the group of Abrahamic faiths they are all the creation of man, with the Jews taking honors for coming up with the idea – Islam and Christianity are just reinterpreted copies of the earliest forms of Judaism. They all agree that at one or more points in time God (Allah, Yahweh whatever – “God” is the generic term that will be used) communicated his message through individuals and because someone took the time to take notes a good part of the world population now take this tome as proof of Gods work. I can just imagine Moses at the tavern after a hard days preaching recounting his cracker weekend away at Mount Sinai, “And then, there was this flash above me…..”

“Yes, yes” I hear you cry, “How ridiculous is that! We must banish religion!” Well you are right, sort of. What would happen if a prominent atheist came across indisputable proof that this was all codswallop? The game breaker that would settle the debate once and for all, even for the most dedicated believer. What would she do with it?

Lets assume it was cast out far and wide so that all heard and understood that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is, in fact, a figment of our imagination, as with all the other Deity’s we have been taking so seriously for so long. What would happen?

Well, for a start we would instantly strip the majority of the world’s population of their spiritual foundations. Suddenly there is no meaning for life, everything they have believed in is wrong. This would not be a good situation.

If they all of a sudden are convinced their faith is wrong, does that mean everything they were told is wrong. Do they need to be kind to others, not steal, and not covet thy neighbour’s wife?

The idea of instantaneous mass spiritual unemployment is a scary prospect, which is why hard nosed religion bashers have the wrong approach. You can’t seek to strip someone bare and expect them to instantly embrace an almost opposing belief; it invites the dangerous possibility of an empty vessel waiting to be filled – possibly by another, far worse set of ideas.

And to return to an earlier point – those who choose to follow religion might be a little bit right. There might actually be a single force or entity out there that has a big influence on why things happen – it’s just a variation in philosophical phrasing that’s at the core of our differences.

What we should be doing is participating in ongoing debate, focusing on educating people and encouraging all people to question what they are told and seek answers for the things they don’t understand. We know that more and more people are less religious than they previously were (without necessarily being atheist) and that has come more so from growing disinterest in such strict interpretations of God and how to live as opposed to vehement objections to the concept of faith.

Personally, I don’t really have a problem (nor is it my business) with my neighbour going to church each week, provided they and don’t force their beliefs on others. It is possible to point out foibles or inconsistencies with any faith, in particular the figureheads of each – but you will find that the majority of Christians, Muslims, Jew, Buddhists etc are all good people who effectively use their faith as a reasonable spiritual boundary within which they can go about their lives.

Baptists in the John

The most burning issue is the extremists. Over time the moderates and non believers will benefit from education and civil debate, and that whole process can happen in an orderly manner to better understand each other.

However the extremists want results now and feel it is their duty to force their ideas onto others – in the false belief that they, and only they, know the right way.

Say the word extremists and most think of the unfortunate young people that sacrifice their lives in the name of Islam – and taint our views of the entire Islamic faith.

For me the evangelists are just as bad. Look at those Baptists that tried to kidnap those Haitian children, pretending it was in the interests of the kids. In reality they tricked the parents, stole the kids illegally and would have ensured that they were brought up in a way to create disciples to gain better penetration into the Haitian “market”. Disgusting to say the least.

Then we have another group of Baptists kindly offering to “Save Darwin”. They clearly haven’t done their research as anyone that thinks it’s not ok to drink at least four cans a day won’t last five minutes up there.

Witness the Fitness

Enough of them – lets talk Jehovah’s Witnesses. Why? Well, it’s personal. A run in with a JW that I am now related to really stoked my interest in this subject. Whilst they are by no means the only extreme example that could be used, I have spent a lot of time trying to understand their beliefs and think they present a good example of taking a relatively good idea (i.e. God is the reason for these things we don’t understand), and turning it into a divisive mind controlling cult.

I make no apologies for this, moderate religion is fine – but this sort of circus is ridiculous.

Firstly, some background. The whole shebang was founded by a Mr. Charles Taze Russell in the late 1800’s. He was chillin’ with some 7th Day Adventists but thought they weren’t taking this religion thing seriously enough and started up his own gig.

Whilst he bought some credibility by hijacking much of his mantra from existing faiths he needed a point of difference to get membership up, especially as he had some nut job ideas on how little free will he was going to give his followers.

Then in a blaze of light he got it, “The end of the world is coming, in 1914”. This seemed to get a few interested, but he died shortly after his first prophecy failed. Apparently he cheated on his wife, was a pedophile, and celebrated Christmas; all things JW’s aren’t allowed to do (!).A Mr Rutherford picked up where he left off and got even more serious.

Now I could write a novel on all the contradictions, controls and hypocrisies that feature in this cult, but a few to note;

1. They have a really bad track record of predicting things and changing their minds. They have made numerous attempts at predicting the end of the world to drive membership, however since their last cock up (1975), they got wise and said it is coming “soon”, explaining away their previous errors by saying “The Light is getting brighter”

2. It wasn’t that long ago that members were forbidden to use aluminum utensils as it was the “Material of Satan” – can of coke Mr. JW? I think someone turned the dimmer switch up a bit and they got over that one

3. Their Headquarters is in Brooklyn New York. Why is it there? The Corporation owns billions of dollars of property in New York alone, and has undertaken enormous redevelopments of their sites – why would you bother if the world was going to end? I am sure God won’t be inspired by the architectural merits of a modern day monastery built by the same people that should have been out door knocking.

4. Abraham, Issac, Jacob and some other Old Testament favorites were due to return to Earth as “perfect humans” in 1925 – so the Society decided to build a palatial home for them to live in. When they didn’t show the President of the Society was kind enough to take up residence so it wouldn’t go to waste.

5. The whole organization is in fact a big publishing empire that uses religion and the donation process to dodge tax; they put Random House to shame. Members are encouraged to pay (donate) for books they distribute through the door knocking process, and in many countries the public is encouraged to donate for the books as well – a nice double dip.

6. Why are there no Dinosaurs? A 1960’s version of The Watchtower has the answer – they couldn’t fit on the Ark! Well blow me down with an aluminum feather…of course! Anyone heard of elephants or giraffes? They must have got a good chicken disguise because they would have been too big as well.

7. If you fancy someone, you can’t go out alone with them, have sex with them until you are married or even masturbate in the interim – all strictly forbidden – and the Watchtower website has some lovely gems of advice on how to deal with the guilt if you should feel the need for some self gratification, as it is a sure path to homosexuality (which is evil). Oral sex is also a no-no, probably because they don’t want their members screaming “Jesus Christ” at inappropriate times.

8. JW’s believe they, and only they, know the Truth. And that EVERY SINGLE NON JW has it wrong, is a lesser person, and, unless they convert is doomed come Armageddon. In fact, and I quote, the rest of us are “Goat like people”! Now, to cover off the inconvenient notion that anyone born before 1874 wouldn’t have had a chance to be a Witness, they add a caveat that states if you die before Armageddon, regardless of your faith, you have a chance of redemption. So, my slant is – I’m pretty sure I will die before the world ends, and you lot haven’t really got any idea when that will occur as proven by your track record. So I’m not going to waste my time with all this door knocking, cheap suits and guilt because I’m a good chance to join you on Earth 2.0 too!

9. The above is taken further; they are instructed to avoid debate with anyone that is trying to change their mind, not to seek out or read material that is contrary to their teachings, and to avoid those who cannot be saved. This can split families. And if one member chooses to leave the JW’s they are “shunned” by all, even if they are related. Once you get in it is even harder to leave – they control you totally.

10. They do not recognize nations or the military. That’s right, so on Anzac Day whilst we remember the sacrifices of the fallen these smug little weasels can’t bring themselves to recognize this or even stand for our National Anthem. But they will still collect the dole, live under the shelter of our defence umbrella, and use every piece of Government funded infrastructure in the country. Yes, they pay taxes – but are discouraged from seeking fame or success and as such are less likely to contribute their share of the tax burden. We are funding these nutcases.

11. Jehovah’s Witness art. This is its own subject.

12. www.silentlambs.org - enough said.

Now, it is possible that a JW will respond to this, being one of three types. Type one is the most simple – they will just write something like “I know the Truth and can only hope you change your apostate ways before Armageddon”. The more indoctrinated one will ramble on quoting a bible passage every third sentence and not really answer anything directly. This is a real skill – have look at the Watchtower website and see how it’s done – generally good but some are a stretch. My favorite is the Toucan example.

The final type is the rare species Intelligentsia Witnessola. These are Elders or higher who are distinctly aware that their faith is a load of horseshit but benefit too much personally or financially by propagating the cult to make these feelings public. They won’t write anything.

The sad thing is there is nothing you can do about this lot, apart from catch them on the other side when they wake up. Trying to convince them to leave is a waste of time; they have to find out themselves.

My advice is if you know a JW – make it very clear to them how much you think what they are involved in is ridiculous and dangerous right from the outset. Once they realize that you are serious they will stay away from you – because they have to. Alternatively answer the door naked and invite them in to join in the deflowering of a virgin, this will have the same effect.

To finish this subject on a lighter note you would have to think Jehovah would be incredibly disappointed with this lot. He has equipped them with the Truth, a kick ass book in the Bible, and speaks to them regularly via the Watchtower (those peeps in Brooklyn NY with a hotline to the Pearly Gates). Now they have had 130+ years to get numbers up, and they only have 0.1% of the Worlds population – what the hell have you guys been doing!!

It takes something like 5,000 hours of door knocking to get one recruit. This is truly amazing. So a JW would have to door knock for twenty years to get one hit. How do these people hold down jobs? They are so bad at what they do; imagine how long it would take a JW plumber to change a washer!

A final heavenly note

Now that I have clearly offended 0.1% of the world’s population and another 5% who are the type that like to feel important by sympathizing with fools, oh, and Jehovah – can I reiterate that for the more moderate religious types I have no gripe with any of you. In fact I reckon you’ve got some things right, as I have – so lets keep talking.

To finish I would like to quote Stephen Roberts;

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

Actually, that’s not bad – but for real life advice we should again turn to the wisdom of the Watchtower. In June 1968 they had a useful piece about how a woman should conduct herself when being raped.

“So by no means would it be proper quietly to submit to rape, as that would be consenting to fornication”